Imagine you are driving home after a long day at work. You're looking forward to a quiet evening at home, the chance to unwind after a tiring day. Only instead of returning to a safe, comfortable space where you can relax and feel at ease, you know there is a rapist waiting for you. You've been raped in the house several times before, and you know it's only a matter of time before he strikes again.

What do you do? File a police report with a detailed description of the perpetrator? Inform the media so the public is aware of the horrific nature of the crimes? Talk with your family about the assaults and ask for their protection? Move to a different area of town, a place where you are out of harm's way?

If these were stereotypical rapes, perhaps that is what you would do. Perhaps you would report the crime; the police would investigate and arrest the perpetrator; the media would pronounce the rapes a public harm; your family would comfort you; you'd find a place to live that is safe both physically and psychologically.

But this is not the type of rape that everyone thinks is the norm, though it is one of the most common forms of rape. The rapist waiting for you at your home - the perpetrator who has struck before and will strike again - is not a stranger, or even a passing acquaintance. As you drive home, you know that the person waiting to rape you is your husband. And neither the law nor society will protect you from rape if you are married to the rapist.

Devastating Effects
Under the Penal Code, spousal or marital rape is not a crime because of an exception in the rape laws for "sexual intercourse by a man with his own wife". This exception originated from an archaic British common law concept whereby a wife, upon entering the contract of marriage, is deemed to have given herself to her husband and is treated as the husband's property. The exception is carried over into the Domestic Violence Act, so that even in a domestic violence situation, a husband can be prosecuted for using physical violence against his wife, but not for raping her.

Marital rape is often linked with other forms of violence against women. Cases handled by the women's organisations in Malaysia indicate that a significant number of women have been abused for not cooperating with their husbands when their husbands want to have sex. They have been physically beaten, had necessities taken away, or have been emotionally or psychologically abused. Many battered women report that their husbands demand sex directly following a beating, regardless of the wife's wishes or emotional or physical state. Women in these circumstances are usually trapped in a vicious cycle of sexual abuse, "consenting" to sex out of coercion or fear.

At least 10% of the 700 domestic violence cases seen by Women's Aid Organisation annually involve marital rape. Studies from other countries show that women raped by their husbands are likely to be raped multiple times - often 20 times or more. One study reports that survivors of stranger rapes were raped an average of 1.3 times each while women raped by husbands or ex-husbands reported an average of 13.2 rapes each.

Wives who experience both physical and sexual abuse such as marital rape have higher levels of psychological problems than wives who have only been battered. These effects are elevated partially because a victim of marital rape is assaulted by the person with whom she shares her life, home and children. Furthermore, the assaults often take place in the intimate and "safe" space of the home. The shock, terror, and betrayal experienced by rape victims generally are often exacerbated rather than mitigated by the marital relationship. Women who had been raped by their husbands report greater negative long-term effects (including sexual dysfunction and the inability to trust men and or form intimate relationships) than victims of any other kind of rape.

Time for Action
It was reported last week that the Special Select Committee on the Penal Code and Criminal Procedure Code will finish its report and table it for debate in Parliament in the coming months. One of the issues it is considering is whether to repeal the marital rape exception.

Although this has been reported as a contentious issue, there is nothing controversial about it. As a civilised and modern society, we do not tolerate rape in the streets, rape by fathers, rape between strangers. We do not tolerate cruelty against women and girls. We want to protect our mothers, sisters, daughters and friends from physical and psychological violence and the need to live in constant fear for their safety and wellness.

When a woman is raped by a stranger, she has to live with the memory of the rape; when a woman is raped by her husband, she must share her home and her life with her rapist. No woman should be forced to live this way; no law should prevent the woman from getting protection. By repealing the exception for marriage from the rape laws, we can ensure that all women in Malaysia are safe from fear and safe at home

6 February 2005

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